Subscriber Comments for
Grief Gets Stuck In Your Teeth

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ROGER DODGER	2012-07-07 10:54 AM
I've been obsessed with death all my life, depressed most of that time too. Depression is a way of life for me. I think it's inportant to feel your feelings you know you have lived. My teeth? They are gone left long ago my dentures in a cup growing calcium.
COMMENT 293116	2012-07-01 09:47 AM
Your columns always make me smile.
RDH	2012-07-01 08:40 AM
Your story of the exploration of the inner landscape of your teeth for some odd reason reminds me of a passage in one of Haruki Murakami's books where the protagonist compulsively counts the change in his pocket over and over again until he suddenly discovers that the total has inexplicably changed. Thank you for an interesting and, dare I say, tongue-in-cheek narrative.
COMMENT 293081P	2012-07-01 07:39 AM
I'd have to say if you have lost someone who is a friend (not necessarily best friend) or know someone who has lost a loved one, it's perfectly fine to acknowledge how it makes you feel, as it can validate their own sense of bewilderment at how to make sense of the loss. Most people think saying nothing at all is OK, but just saying you care is better than saying nothing at all. (if you want to hear what NOT to say, google "crazy s**t people say to widows") JUST DO NOT ever say you know "just how they feel" because you don't. Telling them that it makes you sad is OK but don't make their loss about you. A few shared tears is part of the healing process. How close you are to the person who is gone will dictate how many details you share. If you are sincere in your grief, you will continue to keep in contact and offer support. Healing from intense grief is a long process with no timeline, but it does occur. Life changes are tough, and its helpful to have kindred spirits to share your fears and challenges with. Two fine closely-moderated online forums are Widowed Village (verified widows only) and Daily Strength (for all sorts of life challenges). You will find non-judgmental support there.
COMMENT 293020	2012-06-30 07:05 PM
Be careful you don't become a narcissist, what with all the focus on yourself. Too much self awareness can be very destructive.
COMMENT 293005	2012-06-30 06:21 PM
even your sad stories make me glad you are writing for edhat again!
COMMENT 292971	2012-06-30 02:57 PM
I think your teeth are fine, quit obsessing. Don't expect your teeth not to age as you do.
COMMENT 292941	2012-06-30 01:03 PM
I think your feelings about all that you expressed are very normal, but most of us are afraid to share with friends how we are really feeling about life. You do seem a bit young to be focusing on death especially for people you barely knew. Don't let these feelings turn into chronic depression....find some hobbies that make you feel happy and try to focus on all that is good, having upbeat friends helps too. Death, sadness, grief are normal, especially when you feel "middle aged" which by the way you aren't yet. Could be some hormone imbalances that need to be addressed or maybe a few changes in your diet program will make you feel better physically which in turn should help you feel better mentally. Thanks for sharing....these thoughts make us take a good look at how we are feeling and maybe finding some practical solutions to feeling happier and also realizing we are not the only ones that feel this way.
COMMENT 292935	2012-06-30 12:36 PM
Boy, I hear ya! I'm in braces again...30 years after they were removed the first time. Happens quite frequently from what I understand.

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